Throughout this roller coaster ride that has been my life these past few months Its been very trying. I'll let you in on a little secret.....Listen carefully...
Going through trials is really really hard!
Your probably thinking to yourself...well duh! Everyone knows that!
But its so easy to forget that God never promised us that we wouldn't endure trials of various sorts. He never said it would be easy either. I know now how hard some trials can be and how far they can push you to the edge. I must say, after losing Eleora and going through all that and then the molar pregnancy issues...I have never been through the ringer so much in my entire life up to this point. You always hear people say this...
"A parent should never have to bury their child".
The good news is that even though you go through having to bury a child....God never leaves you. You never have to be alone. Even when the world fails you which it will He is always there. There were times when I felt so alone and like my heart was broken beyond repair...He was there.
Boy did I struggle though! My trust in God was tested big time! I can admit that at times I can be a very anxious and impatient person, but I know now that..
God was bringing me to my lowest so I could see Him at His highest.
Its an incredibly humbling and beautiful place to be! Although not everyone can see it in the moment sometimes its not till after. Like me, I am now seeing the fruits of my suffering. A tiny glimpse as to what God was wanting to show me. I know there are going to be many more moments in my life where God challenges me and brings great trials upon my shoulders and I know its going to be harder and harder, but I feel like having gone through this its given me a better picture, stronger view and relationship with Him. Next time, I'll pray for more patience,an eager heart, and firmer trust in Him. Its crazy how ashamed you feel, or at least I do, when God brings you through something and you hadn't trusted Him completely. It really brings you to your knees with guilt.
However, there is light at the end of the tunnel! I can speak to that!
He always brings you through it even if it seems never ending. So you see...Its really bitter sweet in the end. The sweetness of growing in the Lord cannot be accomplished without the bitterness of the trial. That is why I must say...
Cheers to Tears and Fears!Without them the glory and beauty that is God wouldn't be seen. We wouldn't completely rely on Him if everything we held dear wasn't at some point compromised through a trial. Learn through the mistakes and pray for future growth! Learn from me and my errors!
It's good to see you encouraging others that there is a reason for our suffering. Hopefully we will always think about what Christ suffered in the midst of our own pain...the physical, emotional and spiritual suffering all for His sheep...it's humbling. Thanks for this post! Love you!
ReplyDeleteLove, Debbie
Great post, Jennie! It's such a relief to see you coming out on the other side of all those tears and fears with your faith intact, and not only intact, but hopefully stronger than ever before! While not always knowing the reason for our suffering, we surely do always know The Reason--and knowing Him makes the suffering bearable and w-o-r-t-h-w-h-i-l-e.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Kristine
Sorry mine says that I'm anonymous, but I couldn't figure out what any of the other profile options meant! =S I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to technology! Ha! ;D
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennie for sharing your heart with us. Losing a child takes a piece of your very own heart with her/him. We do KNOW that our little one was in God's divine faithful hands and purposes. Trust continues all over once again, but now with a much greater sense, because your little one was in His purpose this time. May we encourage each other of the Great Hope that is in Christ Jesus our Lord for all that He puts before our door. Love you honey!! MeMaw
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