Missing her......

The great news that we've received lately are gracious blessings from God and I can't begin to express how thankful I am for them! Tonight I feel sad for some reason even through this joyful time. Maybe its because with all these blessings gained that its also a reminder of what's been lost. A sweet baby or the dream of one....the dream of her.

I feel I can understand better now the long term heart ache that comes with any woman who has lost a child. Time can heal but it can never take away what was lost or restore it. I can be excited to have more babies but another baby won't bring her back. I feel so sad because it happened so early on and I feel like I couldn't form a stronger connection besides the physical and yet imagining if I was further along makes me feel worse.

I feel like I'm handling my emotions regarding her better but these stings keep coming every so often. I'll always miss her and wonder what could have been, though I know it was God's will and I feel content in His hands.

Just missing her a lot tonight. :(