Monday, April 13, 2015

Bible Study Reflections

I've been reading with a good friend of mine, This Great Salvation by C.J Mahaney and Robin Boisvert. We have only just begun but just in the bit I've read its stirred up thoughts. Now, I don't know about anyone else but for me I have to let things marinate with me for a little while after reading or listening.
In the first page C. J talks about how upon preparing for a speech for a retreat and the Sunday sermon his wife came to him expressing her feelings of neglect. He thought he had an excuse because of his preparations for the busy schedule but then later felt convicted and apologized.

He conditioned getting his lesson ready which just so happened to be about marital intimacy and he felt guilt,shame and accusation. That little voice that tells us we suck essentially. That little voice was speaking to him saying what right do you have to speak on marital intimacy when you've just screwed up with your wife. He gave resolve to how to over come those accusations and guilt: Romans 8:28-29...

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[b]against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.[c] 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In short, God was and is working all things whatever they may be( sufferings,trials,etc) for our good. And I think to myself, I get that. If God hadn't convicted him he might never had seen his error with his wife and it in extension made his sermon he was preparing for more meaningful as it was from experience. Trial and error. It ultimately grew him in his understandings and dealings with his wife and marriage. So who better to have spoke on martial intimacy? Right? I get that.

For me, I have realized that I am not naive to think that I won't have sufferings or trials in this life.
However, like most people I'm sure, I struggle with wanting to suffer or trial beautifully and when I don't I feel the shame,guilt and whispering accusations. I perceive others going through trials and it looks beautiful. They fall down they knee up and dust themselves off. As for me, I, metaphorically, knee up then trip on my shoelaces several times followed by a few face plants onto the ground. It's ugly. I even feel ugly during and afterward. I can't even tell you how many times I have felt like that. Like, God's little reject child off to the side or at least that's what I perceive thanks to that little voice of accusation. It's so hard and I feel I struggle with this often. I feel like I have amnesia at times, not learning from the previous times. I am thankful for this reminder that God is working my trips and face plants for my good. I'm starting to see that because of my sin it's not always going to be a beautiful process but the end result will be. Just as long as I keep getting back up.