Friday, December 23, 2011

Tears for Eleora

Arleigh is here and I should be completely happy and feel utterly blessed. I do, but I still feel sad about Eleora and never meeting her. Never getting to do or experience the things I can now with Arleigh. Eleora, no matter how short her little life, was my baby too. I will always grieve her loss and miss her dearly.

I haven't posted in a while but wanted to share more pics from the second Christmas at the memorial.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Birth Story

As promised I'm back again to share Arleigh's birth story and some more pictures.

So after I had my amnio test done that came back negative on Nov. 28th my doctor decided to reschedule my csection for the following Monday, Dec. 5th.

The night before I was so nervous and anxious. I was ready have some annoying pregnancy symptoms be relieved but I was just nervous for her to finally be here too. To be honest the surgery portion had me pretty scared. I had never been awake for a csection before. With my son I had to have an emergency csection due to severe preeclampsia and I had been in the hospital for a week prior and had been getting heparin shots twice a day. My blood was too thinned to have me be awake and have the spinal. So under general anesthesia I went.

Any way, when we got there I got into a room and hooked up to a monitor and they started me on iv fluids. My section was scheduled for 1 but there was an emergency case finishing up so I didn't get back there until 10 after. I was shaking like a leaf as they were rolling me back and I just lost it when my little boy kissed me and said "bye Mommy". Oh there is just something about hearing him say that plus all the pregnancy hormones I'm sure. It was the last moment that it was just him and I just had one child my only little boy. Now all that was about to change.

Once I was wheeled into the OR I saw several faces of nurses and staff smiling at me as I'm blubbering still about Mazio's bye to me. I immediately looked at them as they kept trying to calm my nerves and I said, " I know that I'm probably going to embarrass myself in here and later feel like a fool so I want to apologize to you all ahead of time", to which they all just laughed.

Once they got me on the tiny narrow table they started to prep me for the spinal. Bless the sweet resident that held me and talked me through that because I was terrified. She was so nice! Once they got me started feeling numb I laid down and then I really started feeling the numbness escalate up from my legs. I didn't have that weird feeling that I couldn't feel myself breathing or anything but I did feel nauseous. So glad they waited to do the catheter until I was numb. That process typically hurts, ouch! After what felt like an eternity they let Ben come back to be with me. Now I prepped this man prior to the section repeatedly that I would need him to keep my mind busy by talking to me a lot but of course when the time came he completely froze up and had nothing to say. I could have smacked him! Thankfully as they started cutting and I could hear snipping noises the nurse anesthetist talked me through it. That part was the worst just hearing those initial noises and knowing what they were doing but overall the whole experience was not that bad. Then it came time shortly after all that to push her out. They warned me I'd feel pressure and that was normal. After they started and stopped pushing I thought they were done and had her out, I almost started to panic because I didn't hear her crying. Here they started pushing on me more and more until finally my doctor told me they were going to need to use the vacuum because they couldn't get her out. The vacuum for a csection?! Really?? I was shocked. That was the first I'd ever heard of a vacuum needed for a section delivery but sure enough she came right out with a loud pop after that. Boy did she make her presence known, she came out screaming like crazy. I was so paranoid about her lungs that I kept asking if her lungs were okay to which my doctor replied "can't you hear her wailing? Her lungs are perfect." What a huge sigh of relief. I must admit I did cry a little when I heard her cry. What a beautiful sound! I never got to hear my son's first cries which its surprising that he had been born crying in the first place. He was 11 weeks premature and we were warned that he might not cry because babies that early don't usually cry at first but I was told he definitely did!

My doctor told me that because I'm so short my torso is small and she was pretty tightly squeezed inside me which explains the need for the vacuum. He said next time around we'll just deliver me right at 37 weeks as my scar tissue will also be a bit more. Arleigh weighed 7lbs 12oz and was 19inches long. She was born at 1:48pm. So they got her out relatively quick. I got to hold her as they wheeled me back into recovery. My sweet husband took feeding duty the first night as I was bed bound with pain meds and the catheter. We got to go home on my third day. I was so glad to be home, it was so much better for Maz to have free reign of the house and be able to play. Those hospital rooms are so small for a toddler. I did have a hard time adjusting at first but I'm feeling better now. I went through some major baby blues for a few days but looking back I think it was mostly a hormonal shift as my milk came in at that same time.

Arleigh is doing really well and she's back to her birth weight. She lost 6oz. She gains about an ounce a day now. She's still in newborn clothes but I can't wait until she grows into 0-3mos as I have far more options with those. Her umbilical cord fell off last week. Mazio is getting along fairly well with her. He has his moments where he wants to see her and touch her. He's a bit rough at times but he's only 2 1/2 and doesn't understand that she's little. I'm excited for this summer as she'll be 6-8 months old and they'll be able to interact a bit more.

Its so much different having a daughter then having a son. There's the clothes and all the accessories that come with little girls and boys are so much simpler and I might add less expensive! Boys are tough guys and daddy's little mini me where as girl's have that special way of getting to her daddy. It'll be fun to see what its like with a girl and just what its like with 2!

Here are some of the pictures the hospital did for us....( don't mind the water marks)

Here are 2 most recent ones of her at 2 weeks old......

She had just gotten a bath in this one so that is why her hair is so fluffy :)

Our little sweetie pie! :)

Sunday, December 18, 2011

She's Here!!

I know some of you have been wondering how my c-section went 2 weeks ago so I thought I should update. :)

Arleigh Lynn Exposito came into the world on December 5th 2011 via scheduled c-section. She weighed 7lbs 12oz and was 19inches long. My Dr. had to use a vacuum to get her out because she was just too comfy in there and didn't want to come out. She's doing great though! :)

Being able to hear her cry was a great blessing. I never got to experience that when Mazio was born. I must admit I cried a little bit hearing that. Such a beautiful sound.

So big compared to my little 29 weeker :)

So precious!

Mommy, Daddy and Arleigh in recovery after the c-section :)
Don't mind my red The morphine was making me itch.

Daddy and his new daughter! :) I think she has him wrapped around her finger already!

The BIG brother! Daddy and Maz cuddling after delivery. He's very protective over daddy now.

Mazio was exhausted from all the excitement from the day.

First family picture with little Arleigh! :)

I'll post again with more pictures and more updates.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Tomorrow is my C-Section!!

I had to make a separate post for this one! I cannot believe that I made it to the end!! Its here! Its really here! :)

Okay, okay some of you may be wondering whats going on here so I'll catch you up.

I had my amnio test done last week on the 28th. I think I did fairly well considering the size of the needle and my usual wimpy demeanor. :)

Unfortunately the baby's lungs did not pass the test for maturity. Her test came out to a 33 and it needed to be a 55 or higher. After much discussion on where to go from there our doctor settled on waiting another week and just going straight to the c-section. No more amnio tests = yay!! They said on the ultrasound that she was weighing 7lbs 4oz and she has a lot of hair.:) Tomorrow is THE day! Monday December 5th at 1pm is Arleigh Lynn Exposito's eviction from womb to the this world!:) I'm excited yet incredibly nervous.

My mind feels like its rolling a mile a minute! I'm worried for my little man, my sweet Mazio. For so long now its just been him and I remember what he went through to be here. What God brought us through and how he blessed us with this little guy. I just hope and pray we can justly remind him everyday through this transition period with the baby that he is and always will be important and loved. I'm sure I'm just having the normal paranoid feelings. I just hope he adjusts well and doesn't feel threatened or too jealous.

I'm also nervous for the surgery. Last time I had a csection I was completely knocked out so I didn't have to worry about the queasiness, gore, knowing I'm being cut into, or the tugging feelings. I'm also a bit nervous about the spinal. You'd think after the amnio needle I wouldn't worry about the spinal but I guess I'm just strange like that.

Its so surreal to be here at the end and experiencing feelings and symptoms so many other women I know have felt in normal pregnancies. It's overwhelming at times like tonight and knowing that by tomorrow night I'll be holding a newborn in my arms. An event some, including me, never thought would happen. God, you are so magnificent, so amazing, so good that these simple words cannot do justice. You blessed my womb three times now and even though it was Your will to take away one physically You blessed my heart with her forever. I'll always have tears for her but they won't all be of sorrow because you didn't have to bless me with her at all. Thank you Lord!

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow. I'm very nervous. Thank you all for following this part of my journey and praying for me along the way! I promise to post soon and have pictures of her! :)


Hello my fellow blog readers!

Its been ages since I've been able to get back on the computer. Its been on the fritz for a good several weeks now, but alas it is finally in working order! So as you can imagine since early last month I have quite a few updates.

So here we go:

Here are our last family photos of our trio done for the Fall by our good friend, Charlie Edmisten! Thank you again very much Charlie! We are pleased with how they came out.:)

And of course our little man...

Lastly, Ben and I. (Me feeling more like an over stuffed turkey :))

We had a lovely Thanksgiving with both families and got to get our grub on. Last year all of us were sick as dogs and didn't get to enjoy the holiday as we had hoped to so this year was quite a treat to get to fully indulge and be gluttons.

We have the tree up and house decorated for Christmas. I even have all my Christmas shopping nearly done and all that I do have is wrapped and ready. I must point out that I got all that I have done before the infamous Black Friday and the ensuing madness that follows after that crazy day. Ugh, why must holiday shopping bring out the rotteness in people! I can't stand it, pushing and shoving in lines, cutting in front of people nearly taking them out, crazy driving, rude remarks and attitudes, and so on. A season of giving my butt, any more it seems like the season of wanting and greed. Okay that's enough of my shopping rant.

Please follow me to yet another new post......there's more to tell.:)