I'm writing this at 3am because I'm crazy. All I seem to want to do anymore is sleep and yet at the hour of which most normal people are sleeping I can't seem to. Go figure! So since I'm not in my comfy bed drifting into dream land I figured I'd update you all on my last dr. appointment. My last appointment was on Tuesday, a very sad day. In fact I had just learned the news of my dear friend's loss right before my appointment. I was fighting back tears as I waited anxiously in the waiting room.
Her loss brought back memories of last summer and losing our little one, though it was not the same situation or circumstance. I was so anxious to get back to the dr and see if this baby was okay.
Coincidentally my friend learned of the loss of her baby via ultrasound which was the same way I learned of our loss. Ultrasounds are suppose to be the happy time where you get to see your kicking and thriving baby. It quickly turns into a nightmare to us women who have experienced this type of devastation. Another coincidence I have seen between my friend's loss and mine is that both our losses have occurred within a short amount of time apart. On September 1st of last year I had my last living ultrasound, on the 29th we learned of the death of our baby and on the 30th I had my d&c. Our losses are a month apart even though the circumstances are vastly different. I cannot imagine delivering my child stillborn. I have such deep respect, love, and grief for any woman who has had to endure such pain. I pray through tears that God will comfort her and guide her through this sorrow. I pray she leans on Him.
It seemed like an eternity had passed when they finally called my name to come back. As I had sat nervously watching many other women go before me from the waiting room. Unfortunately the waiting wasn't quite through as I had to wait even more for the dr to come into the room. I thought for sure my blood pressure would be through the roof since learning so soon before the appointment of my friend. Plus on top of that since my first pregnancy with preeclampsia I have developed white coat syndrome when it comes to getting my bp taken. Surprisingly it was very good so the nurse said. Finally the dr. came in and I was nervously talking his ear off I'm sure as I told him about my friend's recent loss and asked him numerous questions about my pregnancy as he glided the doppler. I was so nervous and then I heard the baby's heart beating louder then I had heard it thus far. What a calmness that brought to a tragic day.
He said they won't be changing my due date as they had thought at my previous appointment. That was a relief. So it looks as though this baby will be born sometime in the week of November 29th if all goes well.(as far as preeclampsia is concerned of course)So we could have a November or December baby.
My next appointment will be September 13th. I will have another ultrasound that day which made me a bit scared at first. They looked over my last ultrasound results and called me at home the day after this appointment to add that to my next appointment. I guess they couldn't measure the baby's heart and one foot as she was moving or laying awkwardly. I was told I'd be getting these once a month anyway but just the way they called me from home so soon after the appointment about it made me feel uneasy but it seems as though things are fine. They have assured me that she looks healthy and doing good. So that is my update for tonight err this morning. Ugh, I really do need to try and get some sleep. This week has been so emotional and trying, no wonder its hard to sleep. I can't stop thinking about my friend and her family. My heart just aches for them right now. :(
Please check my next post as it will include an exciting little bit of info! :)