Well, here we are. It's March and this countdown to ttc is now coming to an end. I really can't believe it. To think that I'd be here now still in my child bearing years is a miracle. Almost 6 months ago I was very close to having a hysterectomy during my hemorrhaging from my D&C. Which was all from my partial molar pregnancy that we found out later.
I thank God for not closing this door yet. I still have some obstacles with trying for this 3rd pregnancy. I have a 10% chance of reoccuring preeclampsia as well as a 2% chance of another molar pregnancy. Despite these odds the last couple days I've been growing increasingly more excited for another pregnancy and hopeful for another baby! It's weird. This whole time I've felt uneasy and scared about it but now there is a sense of calm and happiness when I think about it.
Oh to be naive like I was when I was pregnant the first time. Back then I had no idea of all the many dangers and diseases that can occur during pregnancy. The even scarier part is that there are so many naive women out there like I was that don't know the signs and symptoms.
I know a girl I went to high school with who had to have an emergecy c-section at 27 weeks because the cord got wrapped around her babies neck and was suffocating him. Thankfully they got him out in time and he was okay but even these small things, these freak accident type things can happen.
Being pregnant is quite scary when you think about it. Pregnancy seems like it could breed paranoia! Who wouldn't in some small degree with all the preeclampsia, HELLP syndrome, molar pregnancies, cord issues and so many more. One big thing that has helped me get through these anxieties has been God. I truly feel He is responsible for giving me this at peace feeling with whatever the outcome of this next pregnancy will be. He got me through the pain last time and I know He'll get me through it again if He so wills.
On a side note...a friend whom I met through the preeclampsia foundation forum is now in labor with her second child! Her first was taken too soon from severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. You can visit her here. Please keep her in your prayers today as I'm sure its going to be an emotional and bitter sweet day for her.
It's crazy. She was 2 weeks ahead of me in my last pregnancy. I would have had my c-section in the next 2 weeks if I made it this far. Surprisingly though I don't feel sad at all. I'm excited for her and just plain happy. I'm excited for March and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store!
Thanks for reading! :)